George W. Bush is the Michael Phelps of cluelessness, but have any of his idiotic statements ever landed him in hot water? No! And it’s all because he takes "staying on message" a lot more seriously than he takes the PDB.
Here's how it works:
Prior to any interrogatory situation, our President stocks his addled brainpan with about a dozen "answers," plus a few random quips and smart-sounding sentences. Subsequently, upon hearing a question, he quickly scans this Liliputian database and emits whatever pre-approved response seems appropriate. And though his dyslexia often scrambles his syntax (making him sound stupid), and his ignorance often causes him to choose an inappropriate response (making him sound incomprehensible), Bush’s strict adherence to a rigid system of message management makes it virtually impossible for him to "gaffe-out."
Extremely knowledgeable politicians like Joe Biden get cocky and get into trouble. Bill Clinton at the top of his game could wing it. Everybody else needs to buckle down. (Barack Obama has learned the value of staying on message. Early in the primaries he thought he could bullshit his way through anything. That got old quick. You haven’t you heard him declare war on Pakistan lately, have you?)
Nobody can compete with Bush when it comes to regurgitating his talking points. He is, after all the Decider, and, like Stephen Colbert, he’s proud of "thinking with his gut." (Words are a nuisance and of no importance.) But if Sarah Palin employs some variation of the Bush formula during her debate with Biden–and she really doesn’t have time to do much else--only Democrats will need to hold their breath.
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